you'll have nothing left
by Muavi-teri
Summary: Severus is exposed as a death eater, having nowhere else to go, he accepts Remus' offer and moves in. It's not quite tragedy, it's just really sad at times.
1. Nowhere else

_Give it all up, you'll have nothing left._  
_

Snape couldn't be found, he had too many enemies. He paced back and forth in his office in the Hogwarts dungeon. Where was he to go though? He had no friends. He had no family. He had no money saved up. He looked over at the copy of the daily prophet and the scowling picture of him. the scowling picture that showed the one thing he most regretted in his life; the dark mark. Rita Skeeter had written about his past as a Death eater, therefore he was no longer able to teach at the school. He was sitting in a large, dark, red, wing-back chair when Dumbledore finally came to talk to him.

"Severus, I have arranged a place of living for you, until you are able to find further residence." Dumbledore just jumped into the discussion. "That is, unless you have somewhere else to stay?"

"No, Albus, I have nowhere, you know that" Snape commented quietly from behind his hand.

"Then you will be staying with Remus. He kindly offered a room for you" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled "and no one will suspect it."

"What did you do to get him to agree to that? we both know he hates me."

Albus just smiled a little smile "He offered." albus repeated "I asked if he knew of a quiet secluded place, and he suggested his own home. Nothing more, severus"

"Very well, I'll oblige you, old man." Snape sighed, both of them knew he would never admit that Snape had no other place to go that was safe. If he went back to the other supporters . Well, he-who-must-not-be-named had a distasteful flavor in his mouth when he found you betrayed or exposed him.

"Severus, please know that I am sorry for this." Dumbledore smiled and pulled out a bag of black licorice "Black is your color Severus; licorice?"

Snape smirked and just to humor him, took one, thanking him before turning to pack his things.

"Sorry its not much, Severus, but it is home. Feel free to anything in the kitchen, as long as it's edible it's fair game. The water in the washroom takes a bit to warm before you can shower. The faucet in the kitchen leaks if you turn it on too long but I'll be fixing that soon." Remus smiled, reminding him very much like a dog waiting for its ball to be thrown, excited and eager for the attention.

"It's quite dingy and too bright but I don't have much choice in the matter do I?" Snape Grimaced and wondered; if Lupin had a tail would it be wagging? "Where will I sleep?"

"Here," Remus led him eagerly out of the kitchen and down the hallway, there were two doors, a narrow pale green one that Snape presumed was Remus' room and a dark red door that Remus opened for him. Inside was a small mattress on a black wood frame, a sturdy looking bookshelf and a large cabinet that served as a wardrobe. "I dusted earlier " Remus smiled. "It's the darkest room in the house, only one window. I'll get you some curtains if you like? Does purple work?" he trotted off and returned only seconds later.

"Yes, that will do, Lupin." Snape took the curtains, commenting "I'll put them up myself thank you."

Snape joined Lupin for a small dinner consisting of sandwiches. Lupin told him he would be making stew for tomorrow.

That evening Lupin was still up at 11:30, Snape quietly wished him a goodnight and slipped into his new room.

_It had been a very taxing day, he woke up late and stepped off to shower without getting a chance to read the morning paper. What turned out to be his last classes were interrupted by much more muttering and snickering than usual. There were many students missing from his classes as well. The students he passed in the hall looked terrified of him, moreso than usual, and several turned and ran when they saw him coming. he had mused that there might have been a outbreak of lycanthoropy at Hogwarts, and that perhaps it was the full moon tonight. Albus found him just as he was entering the great hall. There was a collective gasp and several shrieks as he entered, and Severus was realizing that this change in atmosphere had more to do with him than he thought. Albus pulled him aside and asked him if he had read the morning paper. Severus' life spiraled quickly away after that. When he got to his room there were several howlers waiting for him, along with the morning's discarded paper._

Snape's next trip was to the washroom, 6:00am and Lupin was sitting on the couch reading a book, which quickly disappeared when Snape entered the room.

"Morning!" Lupin chorused cheerfully "I made porridge"

"Are you always up this early?" Snape was still groggy.

Lupin smiled and stood up, still in his pajamas, he trotted over to the steaming bowls on the counter. "Here you are." He handed Snape a bowl and trotted off with the other one, which Snape noticed was considerably less full

"Lupin, I can't possibly eat all this. Do I look like a troll?" he asked irritably.

"Uh no, I just thought you would be hungry, you didn't really get much to eat yesterday." Lupin answered quickly, in fear of reprimand. _Does he fear me that much?_

Lupin looked at him, his eyes have a sad little smile in them, they were distant, and isolated. Snape had no idea how long he stood there, staring into those eyes. _What could make Lupin's eyes, Remus' eyes, to look so lost._

After five minutes of Snape uncomfortably trying to pry the door to Remus' soul off its hinges, Remus finally looked away. What did Snape want and why did he stare at him like that, his eyes so full of wonder and compassion. He looked like he was going to hug him for a minute there. Not like that wouldn't be welcomed, as almost any touch was welcomed when you were a werewolf, but it was frightening. Snape was not the sort of person to comfort him and as much as he would have enjoyed the touch and embrace, he felt guilty because he knew that he would be waiting for a hex to sink into his back.

He turned and trotted off to the linen closet (the narrow green door) leaving Snape in the kitchen, he pulled out a towel and called back through the house that he was going to take a shower.  
_


	2. Bedtime

Severus was sitting in the kitchen. It was about 10:00 at night. As he flipped another page of his book, he glanced up at Remus. _Why was he still sitting in the living room?_ He looked exhausted and was obviously not even reading his book. Every few minutes his head would drop and he would always sniffle, look up and pretend to go back to reading. Remus had borrowed the book from him it was _"What potions can teach you about taste"_ by Emily M. although he had been reading for an hour, he couldn't be more than five pages in. Severus almost chuckled when the book softly hit the couch cushion. Slowly, he put his cup in the sink, closed his book and walked over to Remus. The wolf was sound asleep. Severus wondered what the etiquette was here? Should he just leave him on the couch, transfigure it into a bed, should he wake him up? Leaving him on the couch would be rude and waking him up would be weird. Severus decided the best thing to do would be to levitate him to his room. He made his way over to the door and opened it, to make sure there was room to maneuver past the threshold. Then he stopped.

_Linens_. There were five shelves in the linen closet. Blankets, sheets, towels, pillowcases and washcloths even cleaning supplies but no bedroom. No bed. Where had Remus been sleeping? Snape stood there for several minutes thinking about this. Remus had been sleeping on the couch. that was the only answer. Even though Snape had been there almost a week, Remus was always up much later than him and awake much earlier. He was always in the kitchen or the Living room and he was always tierd looking. Severus was getting sleepy himself, his mind wandered off a bit and began to imagine Remus going outside to sleep in a shed with his name pained over the door. Shaking the thought from his mind he decided to confront Remus in the morning. He opened the door to his bedroom and went to put the werewolf in a more comfortable place.


	3. The Garden

Chapter 3: The Garden

"Why didn't you tell me that you were sleeping on the couch?"

Remus knew this was coming. He had been very surprised to wake up in his own bed. He had immediately gone to find Severus, and he had noticed the irate expression on Severus' face when he came into the kitchen.

"I hadn't seen the need to." Avoidance wasn't really a good tactic with a slytherin but it was one he had a lot of practice in.

"oh! You _'hadn't seen the... '_ I can sleep on the couch. This is your house. I already feel like I am intruding."

"I'm not going to put a guest on the couch. I'm used to sleeping on the couch, I'm not all that fond of beds and so, this arrangement is just fine." Truthfully Remus was fond of beds, just not empty ones. The bed in his bedroom was a gift, a king size and to Remus the extra room only seemed to emphasize the fact that he was enjoying it alone.

"Why aren't you fond of beds?" Severus surprised himself with his own curiosity. It wasn't what he meant to say, but now he'd already said it. It also wasn't what Remus had expected him to say.

"What? oh I just well... my bed... why does it matter?" Remus was beginning to get flustered. As it was, he decided coffee was going to be needed and went to prepare a cup. "the fact is, I don't like my bed and you need a bed to sleep in. I'm perfectly fine on the couch and you should leave it at that. If I get uncomfortable, I will transfigure myself a bed."

Although Severus did not want to leave it at that the werewolf had a point, if he wasn't lying. he debated using legilimens to find out, but that would be a ridiculous invasion of privacy, and a bed didn't seem to be that big a deal. He decided to let Remus make breakfast and went to take a look around the yard. Speculating on how it was he had spent a week at Remus' home without realizing Remus was sleeping on the couch. In hindsight, it was a little obvious, he was always up after Severus and awake before him. In his defense though, he had spent most of his time in Remus' bedroom. He had set up a potions lab and begun to brew a few concoctions that needed some time. Soon he would have to go or send Remus to get the wolfsbane potion ingredients. He had just come to this conclusion when he spotted a gate on the far side of the yard there was a small white fence around a large generous garden.

"I wasn't aware he had a garden." Severus commented to himself, out loud. Many of the plants were strange to him, although he could identify some of plants commonly used in potions. He had just begun to open the gate when one of the strange plants lunged at a mouse and ate it. Although he knew it wouldn't make a worthy adversary, it would be better not to ruin Remus' garden. He was heading back to the house when a boy no more than 10 popped out of the hedge. He was a tallish sort of boy with bright blond hair and he was wearing a muggle t-shirt that said 'need for speed' on it. He flashed me a bright smile

"You must be Remus' new boyfriend! I KNEW he had a new boyfriend. He hasn't come over even one night this week," he extended his dirt-covered hand "I'm Lorcan Scamander, I take care of his garden for him, he is totally rubbish at gardening."

"I'm not... "

"I know you're not messing with the garden, I could see. We live next door. You know you really should be careful around the garden though. Wrackspurts are known to be found in many of the plants here"

"I'm not... "

"afraid of wrackspurts? Well you should be! They can make a persons head go fuzzy. That's why I wear chili-peppers in my ears while I garden. Keeps them out of your brain. You look quite familiar, do I know you? Are you famous?"

It was at exactly this point that Remus noticed Lorcan in his yard talking to Severus. He actually spurted all of his coffee out on the kitchen window. After a quick Scourgify he ran outside.

"Perhaps you should keep your nose out of other people's business. You seem to be a very rude boy, interrupting people whenever you seem fit! well... " and here Severus was interrupted again.

"HAY Lorcan!" Remus called. "I see you have met my guest."

"Is he your new boyfriend? Mom will be happy you finally got over that stupid Quabble guy what was his name Dunbar?"

"No, he is not my new boyfriend, and he hasn't had any breakfast either."

"I'll see you inside." Severus was very curt as he walked back to the house, although he couldn't help overhear the boy saying "Mom would be happier if he were your boyfriend"

Once back inside Remus apologized.

"It is only a nuisance, not a problem. Perhaps, Remus, you would get some ingredients for me. I'd like to go myself but " Severus hated reminding himself of his dependence on Remus.

"Of course I would, just give me a list and I'll go now." he was definitely anxious to get away from this embarrassing situation. Having just been outed by the neighbor kid.


	4. A Memory and a Wish

Remus had no words to describe how he was feeling. A week ago Albus had firecalled, asking if he knew any place someone could go that was secluded, safe. He knew of many places, he had hidden out as a werewolf when he couldn't find anyone to brew his wolfsbane.

"for who?" Remus' heart was fluttering he had seen the morning papers, and had a suspicion. if this was what he thought, it was the chance of a lifetime. Albus carefully weighed his answer before making a decision "Severus Snape."  
"I have a bed he can use, here in Tinworth. It wouldn't be anything special, but he would be safe here" secretly Remus was overjoyed. If he played his cards right, if everything went well, not only would Severus be living here, but he would have the opportunity to make amends. Perhaps even to become friends. Although Remus couldn't even hope for more, he was giddy to have the chance to be close to Severus.  
"Very well, Remus. I think that would be the best option. I'll let Severus know." Albus was, dispite the bad day, Smiling.

For one precious week he had been here. Remus savored the opportunities he had. Staying up late and waking up early had become a game. He had wanted to savor as much of Severus' time here as he could. He took delight in cooking meals for the two of them. enjoyed reading with him after dinner, and thier quiet chats. Although Severus had spent much of his time in the room, Remus felt they had been on much better footing than when they started. Now, everything must have changed. Not only had Severus caught him sleeping on the couch, but Lorcan had outed him. there was little doubt that Severus would be gone when he returned, and if he wasn't gone he would be arranging to leave. although the war was no longer 'raging' it was still very dangerous outside of wizarding communities and twice as dangerous for someone on both sides. Severus was undoubtedly firecalling Albus now. Remus made his way into Diagon alley for the list of potion supplies. He wasn't the best at potions, but he wasn't terrible either, and although the ingredients for wolvesbane were on the list, there were several extra supplies as well. Even though he expected to come back to an empty house, he picked up the ingredients. he could always have Dumbledore owl them to Severus after all. _  
Severus was reeling. He had been anxious to get Remus out of the house and Remus had been happy to oblige. Now that he was gone, however, he had to think about what the gardener boy had said. Remus Lupin was gay. Although Sirius had hinted at the possibility back when they were at school, he had never thought it could actually be the case. A small part of him rejoiced. He had had a crush on Lupin since they were fifth years.

_The Marauders had been sitting under the shade of a tree by the lake. idly chatting and cracking jokes, they watched the path just above them. Sirius and James made comments about the girls passing by, and I could hear them as I came closer. Lily and I were walking down to the lake to work on potions, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her to turn around when I saw them. When we came into view Pettigrew chuckled, tapping Sirius on the shoulder and pointing up, muttering something to the lot of them. Remus' head snapped up and he gave me a wide-eyed stare. His honey colored eyes were dilated with what looked like fear. He quickly glanced over at Sirius, who after looking at Remus for a moment, leaned closer and whispered something to him. I was trying to hurry up the path when Sirius stood up and called my 'nickname'_  
_"Snivellus! nice of you to come out of your bat-cave to enjoy the sun." he taunted "are you starting to chafe?"_  
_"what?" I was irritated, and already embarrassed, but I had no Idea what he was talking about "from Masturbating all the time, you know." he gave a side-long look, not at his usual partner in crime, James, but at Remus, who was steadfastly reading a book. "I figure that's the only reason you would spend all that time inside."_  
_"oh, fuck off." I said, disgusted and worried. what was this new tactic he was trying?_  
_"so Sirius is right, then?" chimed in James "That settles it, then. Remus, you owe me a potions essay!" he smirked at this Remus put the book down, glancing at James, he slowly turned to me and Lily. He took a step or two forward, so he was closer than the two of them and mouthed "GO" to us. His expression was neither menacing nor angry, almost apologetic, he turned around. looking at Sirius, he said "lets go 'play' Sirius."_  
_Sirius looked pissed. He looked beyond pissed. I had no idea what he meant by that, but we took his advice and hightailed it out of there. Lily bitched the whole way about what an ass James was, tricking Remus into betting about me. All I could think of was that small pout on Remus' lips when he turned around._

A/N: well. it has been a few years. Not going to promise anything about updating, but here we are. I also edited the previous chapters, cleaned things up a little. _  
_


	5. Hope

Severus slowly walked around the kitchen. He didn't know how this new bit of information would change things. He liked Remus, he had for a long time. knowing Remus was gay made that much worse. Before, he could pretend Remus didn't like him because he was a guy, but now he had to wonder. now, he had to hope. Maybe Remus had invited him here because he liked him. Maybe remus had invited him here because he, too, had liked him for a long time. Of all the things Severus Snape hated, hope might just be the worst of them. Years of loneliness and depression weren't easy, being hated by everyone was worse, but having hope that someday things will change is what made everything a living hell. He could just walk out the door and face the music. Go find his old 'friends' Dolohov, or perhaps McNair would be enough to take him out. It was hope that stopped him, and made him live through the whole stupid mess. Hope that that stupid fool Dumbledore would win this war, hope that someday his old flame would show up again. Deep in the back of his mind he was sure that Regulus was dead, but every time he had questioned the dark lord, the creature had just said "He ran away from us, Severus, One day we will hunt him down, and you can keep him as a pet, but we have to focus on the war now"  
It was hope that the dark lord used to manipulate him, and hope that would keep Severus Snape sleeping in Remus' bed. Hope that made him wonder if one day Remus and he would be sleeping in it at the same time. Having spent a half hour pacing the kitchen, Seveus picked up his dishes and went to 'his' room. _

Remus flooed in, shaking the dust off his robes, he withdrew the packages and cast a charm to return them to their normal size. Noting how quiet it was in the house, he sighed. Putting everything down he looked around for Severus, and knocked on the bedroom door when the rest of the house was empty. A moment of silence passed and Remus sighed again. He leaned against the door. "And there goes my chance" he groaned. The world was a very cruel place, to give him a one week shot at Severus Snape, and then ruin it with Lorcan Scmander. "Dammit" he said again, punching the door frame, lightly. Then there was a muffled noise and the door he was leaning on gave way, causing him to fall face first into Severus' chest. His bare Chest.

Remus drew himself up very fast and looked at Severus. He looked sleepy, and was only wearing a pair of black pajama pants, which hung off his slim hips. Remus stood there very still, wondering what to do.

Severus took a moment to assess Remus' expression. He had heard him cursing outside his door, and decided to use the opportunity to catch Remus off guard. Remus' cautious expression and tense body language told him quite a bit, for example, it told him that Remus was indeed attracted to him.

"Hullo, Remus." Severus started "I know this is your house, Darling, but I was trying to sleep before you started punching things." Remus' eyes widened "uh, sorry, I'll... um... your ingredients are in the kitchen." he stuttered and hurried off. Severus suppressed a chuckle when he noticed he was headed towards the bathroom. Perhaps hope wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
